My Pitch to Nick

It's 1:45am Sunday morning. Just got in a minute ago and I can already see it's going to be one of those nights of tossing and turning. So I figured I'd get up and make some notes here about The Big Pitch I would give to Nick if ever I get the chance.

So here goes:

Mr. Cannon, I would say (sure, I'm several years older than him, but I completely respect his ability to hire so I would call him "Mister" and really really mean it), you don't know this about me because you haven't yet come to know my work, but I'm an amazing talent that could bring so much to Ncredible Entertainment and TeenNick. I can help you brainstorm and conceptualize fresh and original storylines. You give me raw, half-ideas of little substance, and I can help you flesh them out into whole new fictional worlds. I can create and develop content, co-author your School Gyrls book series (I want a piece of that Simon & Schuster publishing deal, dagnabbit!), proofread, street team, et cetera. I believe I can be the asset to your company that you didn’t even know you wanted. Your creative secret weapon. I.am.just.that.talented.

And then, to prove that I have a way with words, I'd pull out my new book, a young adult novel entitled K My Name Is Kendra, and I'd read a scene to him aloud. I have lots of other ideas too, I'd say after that. If you'll just allow me a few more minutes of your time, I'd like to toss a few your way. Maybe you'll hear something you like?

Then I'd wow him with things I've pulled from my own files. Stuff I've written but never done anything with. Stuff that can be developed into the type of entertainment for which Ncredible wants to be known. He'd be so impressed that he'd hire me on the spot. I'd sign a multi-year contract worth six-figures (because, as I said earlier: i.am.just.that.talented. And so worth every penny). And we'd all live and work happily ever after. The end.

LOL. Well, at least maybe I can drop off to sleep now with these pleasant dreams on my mind...